I Pee In Pools

Printed & shipped in the USA for U.S. orders

Color: Black

$34.95 USD

Fit

Men’s / Unisex

Choose your feel

Size: XS XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL

MILDLY OFFENSIVE TEES · THE FIT DEPARTMENT

Great joke. Get the right fit.

I Pee In Pools

For our Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex tees. Check the product’s available sizes and garment details before ordering; this chart does not apply to other shirt styles.

Measure a shirt you already like

Lay it flat without stretching. Measure width straight across the chest, then length from the top of the shoulder to the bottom hem. Compare those garment measurements with the chart below. These are shirt measurements, not body measurements.

Bella+Canvas 3001 — measurements in inches
Size	Width	Length
XS	16.5	27
S	18	28
M	20	29
L	22	30
XL	24	31
2XL	26	32
3XL	28	33
4XL	30	34
5XL	32	35

Sizes and colors vary by design. Garment measurements can vary by up to 1.5 inches. If you prefer a roomier fit, compare with a looser shirt rather than relying only on a usual size.

Questions? Email hello@mildlyoffensivetees.com. See our care instructions and Shipping & Returns Policy.

Between sizes? Compare with something you already own. Guessing is how a great shirt becomes a very expensive crop top.

Printed to order. U.S. shipping: $6.95, or free at $85 after discounts.

Estimated U.S. delivery: 5–13 business daysIncludes printing and standard shipping. Holiday demand can add time. Details

Premium feel. Questionable judgment.

Soft, lightweight Bella+Canvas jersey. Signature Cotton uses combed, ring-spun cotton. Vintage Heather is a cotton blend; composition varies by color.

Secure Shopify checkoutOrder help: hello@mildlyoffensivetees.com

Free U.S. shipping at $85. Otherwise $6.95 per order. The shipping details

THREE BAD IDEAS. TWO PAID FOR.

Buy 2 tees. Get a third free.

Add three eligible tees and use B2G1 at checkout. The lowest-priced eligible tee is free. Cannot combine with other discounts.

Pick my other tees

A bold addition to the guest list.

Every pool party has someone who brings chips, someone who brings a speaker, and someone who makes the host reconsider the whole event. This shirt has volunteered for the third position.

Pack it for the sort of weekend where the jokes get worse as the sunscreen runs out. Whether you ever receive another pool invitation is between you and your friends.

The shirt details

Bella + Canvas 3001 unisex tee with a crew neck and short sleeves.
Cotton or a cotton blend, depending on the color you choose.
Check the size guide before ordering. Each shirt is printed to order.

Shirt care

To keep your tee from becoming a crop top:

Wash cold, inside out
Tumble dry low or hang dry
Don’t iron the print
Avoid bleach unless you're into surprises

FAQs — the shirt version

What kind of tee am I getting?

A Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex tee, printed to order. Fabric can vary by color; the details for this shirt are listed above. Available colors and sizes are the ones you can select here.

Will it fit?

Open the size guide above and compare the measurements with a tee you already like. Measure the shirt flat, rather than guessing from the size letter. A little measuring now beats a very small shirt later.

When does it ship?

Your tee is printed first, then handed to the carrier. Production and shipping are separate stages. Open Shipping & returns below for our usual U.S. timing. Your shipping charge appears at checkout.

How do I track it?

We email your tracking link when your order ships. A fresh tracking number may need a little time before carrier scans appear. Multiple items can arrive in separate packages.

Can I change or cancel my order?

Email us as soon as possible with your order number and the change you need. We’ll check whether production has started. Once it has, a change or cancellation may no longer be possible.

Something wrong with the print?

For a damaged, misprinted, or incorrect item, email hello@mildlyoffensivetees.com within 30 days of delivery with your order number, photos, and a short explanation. Open Shipping & returns below for the details.

Shipping & returns

Each tee is printed to order, then shipped by our print partner. Most orders print within 2–7 business days after entering production. Standard shipping usually adds 2–5 business days in the contiguous U.S. U.S. standard shipping is $6.95 per order, or free when merchandise totals $85 after discounts. Holidays, stock availability, and carrier delays can add time; arrival dates are not guaranteed.

We email your tracking link when your order ships. Items may arrive in separate packages.

Damaged, misprinted, or wrong item?

Email hello@mildlyoffensivetees.com within 30 days of delivery. Include your order number, photos, and a short description. We’ll help arrange a replacement or refund for an eligible issue.

Choose your size before you order.

Because each shirt is made for your order, we don’t accept returns for a change of mind, an incorrectly chosen size, or wear from use and washing. Use the size guide above to compare with a shirt you already like.